Killing Problems

Is it really possible that one quick and easy process could really solve all the problems in your life, or for that matter, all the problems we face in the world today?  The answer to that question is an emphatic ‘yes', but you'll need a little background in order to understand how that could be true.

The first thing to recognize is that what we commonly refer to as problems aren't really problems at all.  They are situations and conditions.  And please, don't think for a minute that I'm playing some game in semantics here, because I'm definitely not.

Everyday you are presented with numerous situations and conditions.  You label some of these conditions as being good, some neutral and others you label as being bad.  Why is that?

The answer to this question is habit; you've been conditioned to believe that unpleasant conditions or experiences are problems, but they're not.  Challenging situations offer us an opportunity to examine our thinking so we can learn, grow and profit.  Thus, challenging situations are friends not foes, and when you learn to respond to them as such, you will grow and profit.

The biggest obstacle in resolving challenging, or difficult, situations, is overcoming your own ego.  There are, however, only two things you need to remember about that little beast.  The first is that the ego is extremely arrogant.  That is its nature.  The second is that the ego only has one need ...the need to be right.  In other words, the ego would rather be right than happy ...it would rather be right than insightful ...it would rather be right than at peace.  The ego, in fact, would rather be right... more than anything.  To it, being right is a life or death situation. 

The challenge this creates is that when you identify with the ego, you will behave as if this is true for you as well.  Thus, once your ego has decided that something is a problem; you will have an investment in keeping that problem in place.  Luckily, overcoming the ego is quite simple. All you need to do is ...give up your need to be right.

In other words, anytime you notice that you've labeled something as being ‘bad', stop and pause for a moment to reconsider.  Ask yourself if you really want to invest in this problem; or, do you prefer to invest in the solution.  If you choose the latter, simply become willing to be wrong about what you perceive.  This is the first step in overcoming any challenge in your life. 

Once you've decided to give up your need to be right, take a moment and affirm your decision.  I like to employ the following affirmation ...in the past I may have considered this to be a problem, but that's no longer true.  I am now open and willing to see the situation differently.  The reason to affirm your decision is to create an internal shift.  This shift is important because you can't solve a problem by focusing on it.  You solve a problem by shifting perspectives, by changing your mind.  That's why you have to be willing to be wrong about what you're seeing.  If you're not willing to be wrong, you'll never see the situation differently.   

Once you've opened the door to see the situation differently, the next step in solving any problem is to get out a pen and paper and record your story.  Note the way you currently view the situation, and don't be an adult about it. Be childish.  Let your five-year-old tell the story.

As you write the story, no doubt, your emotions regarding the situation will come to the surface.  Let them.  The second step in our problem solving process is to identify the emotions that arise and jot them down.  Next, you'll pause for a moment and really feel the feelings and sensations that arise.  Don't be bashful.  Immerse yourself in the emotion. 

The third step is quite simple, but it's a giant one for most people.  The third step is to acknowledge that ...it's never people, places, things, situations or conditions that bother me; rather, it's my thoughts about them that do.  You can prove this to yourself quite easily by making a list of the judgments, demands and expectations you have of the situation, and then challenging them with the following five questions:

1.      Is it true?

2.      Can I absolutely positively know that this is true?  (You don't have an infallible view of the situation, so you must make room for the possibility that something else could be just as true or truer.). 

3.      How do I feel when I have that thought?

4.      How would I feel if I let go of that thought?

5.      Can I think of one good reason for not letting go of this thought right now?

Once you've challenged your thoughts and decided that they no longer serve you, you'll move on to step five.  In this step, you'll turn your judgments, demands and expectations around and see if they might not be just as true or truer about you.  The purpose of this step isn't to shift the blame, guilt or shame; it's simply to discern the truth of the situation in order to gain wisdom, insight, understanding and clarity

For example, awhile back I was concerned that my work wasn't as profitable as I required it to be.  My story was that it was hard to find clients and customers.  That, in turn, caused me to feel frustrated, uncertain and worried.  When I turned my story around it read ...it's hard for my clients and customers to find me.  That, by the way, was much truer.  As soon as I said it, I knew right away that my problem had nothing to do with finding clients or customers.  What I needed was greater visibility.  Next, I turned my feelings around.  When I did, they read ...my customers are feeling frustrated, uncertain and worried.  Like before, this rang much truer, and it provided additional insight.  It informed me that the people who were looking for me were people that were feeling exactly this way!  Thus, in less than fifteen minutes, the process assisted me to clearly identify not only how I could move my business forward more powerfully, but also who would most benefit from the service.     

Another example of how this process turns upset into insight, involves a property management director I recently spoke with.  Initially, he claimed that he was having a problem because his managers weren't doing their jobs and, as a result, his customers were angry and complaining.  This, he thought, was the problem.  As a result, he felt angry and frustrated.  After taking twenty minutes to move him through The Alchemy Process^TM, however, he clearly saw that ineffective managers and angry customers weren't his problem.  His problem was a lack of clear and easy lines of communication.  In other words, the condition that he was upset about included having angry customers and an ineffective staff, but that wasn't the problem.  The problem was a lack of clear and easy lines of communication between himself, his staff, the owner and his customers.  The solution was to establish clear and easy lines of communication between them all.  In addition, as soon as our property manager saw the situation clearly, as well as the solution to it, he went from feeling frustrated and angry to feeling optimistic and energized.  Thus, the problem was resolved ...or was it?        

Some people will think that the problem isn't resolved until the situation or condition heals, but that's not true.  Webster's dictionary defines a problem as, "...any question or matter involving doubt, uncertainty or difficulty."  The truth is, as soon as we clearly identify what needs to be brought to a situation to make it whole, we no longer have doubt, uncertainty or difficulty.  We feel confident, empowered and certain.  Thus, the problem no longer exists, even if the situation or condition lingers for a time as we bring resolution to it.

In reality, the only problem that exists in the world today is that we often misperceive and mislabel the situations and conditions in our life.  In other words, we look at situations and conditions and blame them for our feelings; but they aren't responsible, we are.  Let's face it, who's doing the labeling? 

Unfortunately, as long as we hold onto these misperceptions, those problems will be held in place.  That's because an investment in misperception ...is the problem.  Thus, when we choose to invest in the problem, rather than in the solution, the problem will persist.  The following story is a perfect illustration.   

A friend of mine had been working for five years to settle an insurance dispute that arose when she got into several automobile accidents over a short period of time.  According to her, the problem was that all sides were blaming the other and she was left holding the bag.  This friend is acquainted with my work, so when I asked if she'd be willing to be wrong about that, she knew exactly what I meant and answered, "yes."

Thirty minutes later, after moving her through the process and having a very frank discussion, she realized that this ‘situation' wasn't the problem.  The problem was that she hadn't held anyone accountable.  What the situation called for, she realized, was accountability, so that's what she began to focus on, beginning last week.  Since then, she's settled one claim and there appears to be movement on the other.  All in just one week! 

The reality is that every unwanted situation or condition in our lives can be brought to resolution as soon as we clearly identify the problem.  That's because when the problem is clearly identified, the solution presents itself as well.  In my case, the situation called for greater visibility.  In the property manager's case, the situation called for clear and easy lines of communication.  Lastly, in my friend's case, her situation called for accountability.  In every case, however, one thing remained true; the situation or condition was never the problem.  The problem was a lack of clarity.  Thus, as soon as we brought clarity to the situation, the problems were resolved.

Clarity, in fact, is what The Alchemy Process^TM is all about.  In just six, simple and easy steps, you can view any situation or condition from multiple perspectives and see what's required to resolve it.  This incredibly powerful problem solving process is easy to learn, simple to employ and profoundly useful.  Just imagine, if you could turn all your problems into profit ...how much richer would you be?  Can you think of one good reason for not doing that right now?    

Bob Bloom is the author of Taming The Tiger of Emotion: A Radical Change of Mind and the creator of The Alchemy Process^TM.   He is an enlightened source of insight, understanding, inspiration and creativity who shares what he knows with others so they can fulfill their heart's desires, not in some distant future, but right here and now!