There's nothing I enjoy more than seeing a person who has advanced in years, both within and without.  They greet life without malice or contempt.  There is a shine in their eyes that belies the weathered appearance of their face.  They smile easily and see themselves in all the children that they meet.  

My grandpa John was such a man.  Even though he died when I was still young, I remember him taking my hand and walking with me.  He was a first generation German immigrant with meaty hands born from years of working with stone.  After world war one, he bought a model T Ford in New York and drove it half way across the country.  In the 1920's, he and his brother made beer in the basement beneath their shared dwelling and when the police came and raided the joint, John took the fall all alone.  His brother was married with kids; John was single.  In his early forties, he and his wife Sophie adopted my mom, then a five year old living in an orphanage.  John was renowned for the roses he grew, as well as baking some of the best homemade bread in town. 

Towards the end of his life, John served as Sophie's caretaker in the years leading up to her passing.  I never heard John complain, rarely saw him without a gleam in his eye and even though he was a powerfully built man, his presence was always gentle and caring. 

When John passed we were living halfway across the country in California.  At the time, my mom was sweeping the front entry.  She stopped, paused for a moment, and then turned and looked at me, tears welling up in her eyes.  "Your grandpa John just passed," she said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"He just came and told me."     

One of the practices that I've been guided to incorporate into my daily routine is to take some time each day to just sit and ‘be well'.   This is an intuitive practice that asks me to connect with the energy or value of ‘wellness' and breathe it into my being. 

To accomplish this task, I sit for a moment and quiet my mind.  Then, I invite my heart to bring the energy of ‘be well' forward so I can know it, feel it and experience it.  As I feel the energy rise within me, I invite every cell within my mind and body to open up to receive this vital energy.  I just sit and breathe it in.

Be well   

 

I think that most people would acknowledge that heartbreak and disappointment are fairly common experiences.  What's not as widely recognized, however, is what's happening beneath the surface, at the sensate level, when these experiences arise. Let's take a peek.

If you'll recall a time in your life when you felt heartbroken or disappointed, you'll probably conjure up the following sensations within your body.  You'll feel a burning sensation in the middle of your chest, accompanied by a feeling, or a sense, of immense emptiness.  These sensations are often very powerful and uncomfortable.  That's why most people shrink from them, instead of embracing them.  But what would happen if we mustered up a bit of courage and chose to embrace these sensations fully, instead of retreating?  What would result?  

A strange phenomenon unfolds when we bring our compassionate attention to the sensate energies we feel within the body.  They go from being something that's happening to us, to something that's happening for us.  They become messengers.

Approximately twenty-five years ago, I discovered that if I quieted my mind and brought my full, focused, compassionate attention to the sensations I was feeling in my body, they would inform me quite differently than did my brain.  The key was in ‘not thinking'.  In other words, I would be present to the sensations, but without the mental chatter that usually accompanies observing something.

As I moved my awareness into these sensate energies information would suddenly arise within me, as if out of nowhere.  It wasn't a 'thinking' process, however, it was a ‘presence' process.  My compassionate attention, alone, was all that was required to both hear the message and transmute the sensate energies I was feeling.  Thus, began my journey of discovery into the realm of intelligent, sensate awareness.

Since then, I've run into several other people exploring the same phenomenon.  One man, by the name of John Pateros, the founder of Healing to Wholeness and Process Coaching, has been studying the field of sentient awareness and intelligence for nearly thirty-years.  It's amazing how parallel our experiences are.  Even more recent, is the massive amount of research compiled by The Institute of HeartMath, in Boulder Creek, California, into a field of work called Neurocardiology.  (A.K.A. The Intelligence of the Heart) 

¹After extensive research, one of the early pioneers in Neurocardiology, Dr. J. Andrew Armour, introduced the concept of a "...functional ‘heart brain' in 1991.  His work revealed that the heart has a complex, intrinsic nervous system that is sufficiently sophisticated to qualify as a ‘...little brain' in its own right. The heart's brain is an intricate network of several types of neurons, neurotransmitters, proteins and support cells like those found in the brain proper. Its elaborate circuitry enables it to act independently of the cranial brain - to learn, remember, and even feel and sense."  (McCraty, R., Atkinson, M., & Tomasino, D. (2001). Science of the Heart: Exploring the Role of the Heart in Human Performance. Boulder Creek , CA : HeartMath Research Center , Institute of HeartMath , No. 01-001.)

I suspect that it's this brain/mind we tap into when we move into the body and learn to speak its language.  To speak the language, we must learn to still the mind and become present to what's happening within the body, with our intent being to hear, or understand, what it has to say.  This is especially true with regard to our perceived negative, emotional experiences.  In silence, we can move through the surface tension into the underlying intelligence, and gain both deeper insight and understanding.  We can then apply that understanding in our lives. 

This is exactly what I did when I became aware that I was feeling overwhelmed.  I paused, connected with what I was feeling, breathed into the tension and got the emotional energy flowing.  Once that energy began flowing, the blocks to the underlying intelligence were removed.  My mind became calm, my thoughts cleared and my forward momentum was restored.                 

To move from retreat to embrace we simply need to employ the principles discussed in chapter one.  First, we pause, and consider that the sensations we've associated with heartbreak and disappointment might really be something else.  Then, we surrender, admitting that we don't have all the answers.  That's fairly obvious isn't it?  If we had all the answers, life would be a lot easier.  Finally, we employ acceptance, making peace with the actual sensations we're feeling in the body.  This disengages the reactive mind and brings the creative mind on line, enabling us to intuit new possibilities and creatively manage our emotional, or sensate, energy. 

The first step, pausing, disrupts the associations we've made between the sensate energies we're feeling in our body and memories stored in the reactive mind.  Next, we surrender, by admitting that we don't have all the answers.   This gives us a chance to relax and consider new possibilities.  Lastly, in acceptance, we make peace with what we're feeling, whether we like the way that feels, or not.  This enables us to become present to the experience without feeling the need to judge, condemn or change it.  It's this last attitude, by the way, that opens the door to new understanding.  That's because before we can let go of something, we must first have a hold on it. 

In workshops, I illustrate this point by asking a participant to drop something that I'm holding on to.  Typically, that person will get up and attempt to grab the object from me.  I tell them to sit down and drop it from where they are.  I'm sure you get the picture.  You can't drop something you're not holding on to. 

Next, I hand the same person a bulky object and ask them to pick up something else without setting the bulky object down.  The group picks up the new analogy pretty quickly.  Before you can pick up something new, you have to set down what you've been holding.

With regard to emotions, you do the same thing.  First, you embrace your feelings (the sensations you feel within the body) and lovingly acknowledge them as valid and okay.  Then, you release your judgments and allow the intelligence of the heart to provide a new meaning.  Once informed, you ground this new information in the body using breath work.

In breath work, your goal is to integrate this new information within you.  In other words, you want to link this new thought with the sensations that you're feeling within the body.  That way, when these same sensations arise in the future, the new thought will rise with them, as will the emotional state that accompanies this thought.  It will, in effect, reprogram your inner computer.  This is accomplished as follows.

While remaining present to the feelings and sensations within the body, hold your new thought in mind and breathe slowly and deeply for several moments.  Imagine the thought connecting with the sensations and combining to become one.  Feel it happening.  The process is finished when you feel a sense of completion.  The next step is to notice what happens when these sensations arise in the future.  If the new thought emerges with them, you've been successful.  If not, repeat the process until the new thought does. 

In the case of heartbreak, when I consciously move my awareness past the surface tension and into the sensations, I feel the following.  I feel an incredible sense of emptiness, like an internal aching that needs to be satisfied, combined with a burning sensation in the middle of my chest.  As I lovingly connect with these sensations, the underlying intelligence informs me that the emptiness I'm feeling is the space in which to envision something new, and the burning sensation is the energy necessary to bring that new vision to life.  In other words, my old thought was that I was experiencing loss and pain.  My heart suggests something different.  It suggests that I now have an opportunity to invite something new into my life.   

Upon sensing what my heart has to say, I begin the process of anchoring this new thought within me.  To do so, I simply remain present to the aching and burning sensations I'm feeling within, and I consider that they offer me an opportunity to invite something new.  For example, I might invite new love into my life, or perhaps, peace of mind.  Then, while holding this new thought in mind, I breathe slowly and steadily until the thought and the sensations merge into one.  I imagine that I'm placing an order for the universe to fill.  

The unconscious approach is quite different.  In the unconscious approach, the reactive mind informs me that what I'm feeling is heartbreak.  I've lost something very dear to me and that hurts.  Because of this, when I think of how I feel inside, I picture more loss and more hurt.  In essence, when I follow the dictates of the reactive mind, I'm envisioning a new picture, but it's rooted in the hurt and pain of the past. 

Each level of intelligence, the ‘reactive level' and the ‘heart level', have offered their input.  Now it's time for me to choose which bit of information I'll act on.  Let's take a look at both choices.

1. I feel empty and aching because I've lost something important to me.

• 2. I feel empty and aching because I've created the space for something new in my life, and at present, I'm giving birth to that something new.

Remember, even though the picture of our life seems to take place outside the body, the experience actually takes place within us.  Our thoughts and emotions (internal processes) determine our experiential reality.  That said, it's the mental and emotional pictures we link to the sensations within us, which both determine our present and future experiences.  In other words, how we place our mind on the situation (the meaning we give to it) determines what we will experience, both now and in the future.

For example, if I label the sensations according to the dictates of the reactive mind, I'll label them as ...I feel empty and aching because I've lost something important to me.  Labeling them thusly, I'm likely to experience the emotional condition known as depression, pain, hurt, anger, resentment, sadness and displeasure.  That's because as soon as I declare what something means, and I invest my belief in it, that becomes my experience.  This remains true for me, whether my assumptions are accurate or not.

For example, have you ever thought poorly about someone and later discovered you were wrong?  If you have, and who hasn't, your incorrect judgment will influence your feelings about this person right up until the time you discover you were wrong.  Then, you'll change your mind, and your mood will change accordingly.  We all know this, because we've all experienced it.       

In the case of heartbreak, the intelligence of the heart informs us that ...I feel empty and aching because I've created the space for something new in my life, and at present, I'm going through the process of birthing that something new.  This thought, or attitude, is empowering.  It encourages us to begin picturing something hoped for.  It's also likely to give rise to excitement, anticipation, wondering, and hopefulness; perhaps, even a sweet twinge of sadness for what has just passed. 

The difference between the two choices is clear.  In example number one, we're operating out of fear.  In example number two, we're operating out of love.  Fear believes that the past equals the future.  Love surrenders and accepts the present moment, as it is, without judgment.  Fear retreats and love embraces.  Fear paints negative future images in our mind's eye; love paints pictures of beauty and hope. 

This is the difference between the reactive mind and the creative mind.  The reactive mind is rooted in our ancient memories of fear, pain and suffering.  As such, aligning our thinking with it gives rise to more of the same.  On the other hand, the creative mind is our source for unlimited creativity and potential.  Aligning with it, gives rise to fresh new ideas, hope for the future and a deep inner peace that cannot be disturbed.

When I choose to identify with the creative mind, and operate out of love, I consider that something more beautiful is coming my way.  I accept that the uncomfortable sensations I'm feeling in my body are what are necessary to give birth to this new idea.   When I operate out of fear, I imagine the worst.  I consider that the feelings I'm feeling are the price I'm paying for having loved in the first place.  In each case, we're experiencing the same set of sensations.  What's different is the attitude we're taking (the meaning we've associated with the sensations) and that directly determines what we'll experience as our emotional reality.

I trust that this message is beginning to take root within you.  Our reality forms itself around our beliefs, our choices and what we give our attention to.  The sensate energy we feel in our bodies is creative energy; it's an attracting force.  It seems to attract to us experiences and conditions that mirror our beliefs.  How this happens, exactly, I don't know; but I do have a theory.

The heart produces an electromagnetic pulse; similar to the pulse that emanates from planets, stars and every other body in the universe.  Could it be that our attitudes are broadcast on this channel, attracting like hearts to us and repulsing those that aren't?  I think so.  That's why I believe that it's so important to fully embrace the principles of patience, surrender, acceptance and forgiveness, especially during times of challenge and adversity.  This empowers us to transcend our ancient fears and memories, and begin to manifest new and more wonderful possibilities.   

In the example I just offered, two people encountering exactly the same set of circumstances are enjoying two totally different experiential realities.  One reality is painful.  The other is filled with excitement and anticipation.  The difference in experience is determined by the way each placed his or her mind on the situation, or as I mentioned before, the meaning they gave to a particular set of sensations.

The first person, informed by the reactive mind, chose to believe that the experience he was having was one of heartbreak.  He reasoned that the uncomfortable sensations he was feeling were the result of loss.  Something in his life had gone bad.  As a result, he experienced additional despair, hurt and depression.

The second person, informed by the heart, chose to believe that the situation was simply the creative process at work.  She reasoned that the empty sensation she was feeling inside was the space required to envision a new reality, like an internal emotional uterus.  The burning sensation was the energy required to bring this new dream to fruition.  She chose to believe that what she was feeling was birthing pains.  Something new was coming into her life.  As a result, she experienced excitement, anticipation and wonder!  

Currently, as a whole, humanity appears to be addicted to the stories of pain and suffering of our past.  Because of that, we recreate the same scenarios over and over again.  What's interesting, though, is what happens when we let go of our stories and ask ...who would I be without my story? Or ...how would I feel if I let go of the story?  The answers are illuminating. 

In every case, the answers are ...I'd be at peace ...I'd be powerful ...I'd be wonderful ...I'd be okay ...I'd be happy.  These answers arise because that's our basic nature before we begin to overlay our stories!  The fact is that reality doesn't bother us; it's our stories that torment us ...but we don't have to invest in them any longer.  Within us exists the creative potential to transcend any problem existing in our lives.  It's up to you and I to activate that potential.

Excerpted from Taming the Tiger of Emotion: A Radical Change of Mind, by Bob Bloom with permission from the publisher

Present ...

 

It was in February, 1999, at a workshop facilitated by Rick Jarow.  Most of the work we'd been doing was done in a meditative state and this, the third day, was no different.

At one point late in the afternoon, I suddenly opened my eyes and noticed that Rick's eyes were also opening and looking directly at me.  After letting out a brief, hmm, he announced to the group that we were going to move up to work with fifth chakra energy, then both he and I closed our eyes as if on queue.

Next Rick said, "You are now invited to see yourself ten million years in the future if you so choose.  See a doorway open up in your mind's eye and walk through..."

I'm not a particularly visual person, nor do I normally get strong visual impressions during guided meditations, but this time an actual door opened before me.  Walking through the door I noticed a set of stairs leading up to a modest, six pillared temple setting atop a small knoll.  Walking up the steps I looked around to see a pastel colored landscape with smooth, gently rolling hills.  Cresting the peak I entered the temple and saw my ten million year older self sitting comfortably on the ground.  

"Hello self," I said. 

"Hello," the reply came.

"Why am I here? (On Earth at this time and place)

"You know why you're here."

"No!  Precisely, why am I here," I asked more earnestly.

"Do you remember that meditation you did all those years?" my older friend asked.

I did.  Shortly after I began practicing meditation, I was guided to see light roots grow out of my body and into the Earth.  Once that connection was made, I would rise up in orbit over the Earth and join several other lights in a sort of triangular looking grid that encircled the globe.   I could tell that I was doing some kind of work with these other lights but exactly what that work was I didn't know.   About two years or so after beginning this exercise, I heard the words, "It's done" and that was the end of that journey.  I was never able to visualize or see that effect again.

"Go into that meditation again now," I was instructed.

Almost instantaneously I found myself sitting on top of the Earth as it orbited the sun.  I could clearly see all the planets in the solar system and as well as the incredible furnace that is our sun.  Multi-colored flames were dancing on its surface and shooting into space.  This wasn't like a vision; I was there, it was unfolding with crystal, clear clarity.
 

A few moments later a white light shot out of the sun into the center of my chest.  It was glorious, like the hand of God touching my soul.  A few moments later the Earth whispered, "Come inside me."

As I entered the Earth, my consciousness began to expand outwardly encompassing galaxies upon galaxies in a cosmic display of light.  It looked like the pictures you see taken by the Hubble Space telescope only I wasn't looking at pictures; I was living the experience.  These galaxies were all living and breathing within me.     

Slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, the expansion slowed and came to a rest.  "It's time," I heard.  Then, slowly, my consciousness began to recede back into the Earth, pulling with it energies from each of the galaxies I'd held.  There, within the Earth, these energies flowed and swirled like smoke captured within a closed, glass chamber.

I sat in that space for a while, for how long I do not know, but at some point I opened my eyes and returned my awareness to the room.  A short time later we were invited to share our experiences within the group but I could not speak.  Each time I tried to utter a word the shear ecstasy of the experience would overwhelm my senses and cause tears of joy to flow from my eyes.  

Hours later, I still could not speak and it was time to make the long trip home from Mount Madonna, through Gilroy and back up to San Francisco.  I will never forget that drive, nor the day I caught a small glimpse of God.  

I remember being proud for about five minutes one time.  I was six and had just learned how to turn on a bicycle.  My older sister had hauled me down to the neighbors house to show me the ropes.  I'm not sure why she chose that house ...it might have been the flat driveway; but then again, it may have been the large curb across the street because she seemed to get awful excited each time I crashed headlong into it.

After several failed attempts, I finally caught on and got the bike to turn.  Boy was I proud.  So proud in fact, that I got my dad to come outside and watch me ride down the big hill in front of our house where I would make a ninety degree turn down a side street and ride off into glory.

As I streamed by the house I looked briefly at my beaming dad and then banked hard to make the sharp right hand turn.   Suddenly, about halfway through the turn, I realized that I had a huge problem; I didn't know how to stop turning and the neighbors mailbox was fast approaching.  BLAM! Before I could even process the information I got a mailbox facial with a complimentary nut crushing on the lower bar of the bike.  I'm not sure what hurt the worst, the big cut on my head, the dislocated wiener or the bruising of my delicate little ego!  

   

Siona, me thinks that if you're going to ask these Zen type questions like, 'What is the sound of one hand clapping?' then we should turn to the ultimate Zen Master, Carl  Spackler, for the answer...

  

Everything and nothing.  I don't need no stinkin reason!

The living, breathing art of life!  It fascinates me.  All these incredible experiences we get to participate in and share with one another.  When I look closely, I notice that every single experience in life requires the participation of all of creation in some way, shape or form.

 

Okay, take a deep breath and then focus your attention on my pocket watch swinging back and forth and on the sound of my gently calming voice.  You are feeling relaxed and at peace.  Your eye lids are getting heavy.  Your breathing is slowing down.  You are feeling sleepy ...very, very sleepy.   SNAP!

In this highly suggestible state, I now command you to send money to P.O. Box. 60204, Phoenix, AZ 85012.  Send lots and lots of money.  Now, when I snap my fingers you will not remember this conversation but you will send lots of money and you will feel great! 

SNAP!